For some amazing reason it is a hot topic - not just a part of our society - to talk about consent. The thing about consent is it is epically simple. (If you are somehow confused about this go watch Tea as Consent.) Sexual consent is especially important therefore it should be a standard in our romance novels - right? Sadly - not always the truth.
Some of the lack of consent is hidden in the guise of “dominance and submission” which as far as I can tell is a complete load of shit. (Example: Carrie Ryan writes some hot BDSM and it is wickedly consensual.) Some are from a different era and have aged badly. Some seem to go with the context and it isn’t explicit but it is there… in essence?
Personally, I am all for explicit, open, honest consent. Whether it is a kiss, whether it is sex. Whatever. Consent is romantic. And therefore can be sexy. Here are just a few of my favorite scenes with consent.
1. “Breaking the kiss, she unwrapped her legs. ‘Let me down.’ Uncertainty flashed across his face, but he didn’t hesitate, allowing her feet to touch the floor. ‘Everything okay?’ he asked, moving his hands off her and taking a step back, giving her more than enough space to make a run for the door. ‘You don’t have to do this.’” Tomboy by Avery Flynn
I love this. This couple is hot and heavy, (with some great dirty talk before this against the wall make out) and well on their way to the sexy times but he literally backs off and gives her space. What could be hotter than that? Giving the heroine the physical space to make that choice.
*****
2. “And since in the world of unwritten rules, not touching a woman unless she invited him to was bold, underlined, and all in caps, she needed to leave.” Hot Pursuit, Julie Ann Walker
I just like that this is his rule. She invites the touch or doesn’t get touched. So simple! So Sexy! So consent!
*****
3. [Having just been intimate and being rather mostly unclothed together.] “Wait,” she repeated, this time lifting her knee, pressing it against him. Pushing him away as she scrambled to sit up. “No.” He stopped instantly at the word, reeling back, his warm hand on her thigh. “What is it?” Wicked and the Wallflower, Sarah MacLean
This is a lot like my Tomboy mention from above - but even more simple. The heroine says “No”. Just no. Way to be sexy as hell and listen, Devil.
*****
4. “I just want it to be clear that this isn’t some binding contract. I know this wasn’t the plan. So just tell me if you need me to back off, and I will. Us doing this once doesn’t mean I have any expectations that it’s how things will go while you’re here. Hopes but no expectations.” The Ones Who Got Away, Roni Loren
This one is slightly different - this pair had already been intimate and had a good time. But now there is still no expectation of sex a second time. ‘Cause yes once - doesn’t mean yes again.
*****
5. Her kiss was sweet and searching. Gabe wasn’t certain how to respond. He didn’t want to refuse her, but he’d be damned if he’d press her one touch further than she wished to proceed. Wallflower Wager by Tessa Dare
This hero has a whole other take - the heroine who is much less experienced and has had a traumatic sexual history - takes the lead. She dictates where their romance and their bedroom activities are going.
*****
Do you have authors who highlight consent? Do you have favorite moments of it within stories? Support authors that do this - so we as readers can make consent the norm.
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