Virginity may be an outdated patriarchal construct but it shows up a lot - a lot - in romance novels. Whether contemporary (less often) or historical (fairly regularly) there are a lot of virgin heroines. There are often some decent scenes with some pretty spectacular first times for these ladies that can be consensual, sex-positive, and excellent representations of a healthy sexual experience.
But I don’t want to talk about that.
I want to talk about the rare, the beautiful, the elusive - I want to talk about Virgin Heroes.
Virgin heroes are few and far between and should be celebrated in both their rarity but also in the beauty of turning the construct of who knows what to do in the bedroom right on its head.
1. Zachariah Holtz, Keepsake by Sarina Bowen
Zach is one of my all-time favorite heroes in general. He is pure of heart and soul and not because life was easy on him. (Not even a little!) He is steady and dependable and kind. But what really won me over was his sexual experience - or lack thereof. Now he is described as a “golden god.” He is pretty. Downright sexy, one might say - rockin’ the flannel and the boots and the brawn. But he doesn’t go for the easy way to lose his virginity - in his twenties! - no, he waits. And eventually, he finds Lark. And together they have an awesome moment because she asks for his consent (which he readily gives) but it also explores how he wants to make her feel good but doubts himself. He even says “You don’t have to flatter me.” But the two of them have super steamy sex and it is all about listening to your partner.
2. George Holloway, Gone Too Deep by Katie Ruggle
This is a favorite of a lot of people - George Holloway. Mountain guide, tall, dark, and nearly silent. He finds a tiny little city girl and hikes her out in the Rocky Mountains (in the middle of winter) on an adventure with absolutely no backup. It is an overall adventurous book and a fun time - but he is also one of my favorite Virgin Heroes. He actually has never been kissed. And though the love scene is a lot from Ellie’s (his heroine) perspective it talks about the responsibility and protectiveness that comes from making love to someone for their first time. He is also All Man (™) so often Virginity in women is seen as a strength but it is a shortcoming for men (this is a rant for a different time…) that somehow makes them less tough. George fights a literal avalanche at one point - definitely not lacking in the tough department.
3. Robert Blaisdell, the Duke of Clermont, The Duchess War by Courtney Milan
This is one of the few times I have ever seen a virgin pair on their wedding night. Both of them. Like BOTH. And it isn’t good. It is awkward and not terribly enjoyable for either of them. There is open and honest conversation about sex between the characters that is one of the most sex-positive conversations in historic romance. This is also fascinating - because he is made fun of and offered advice by his male friends. But he holds to his ideals of how sex shouldn’t be used and abused and I am here for it!
4. Flame, Souls Unfractured by Tillie Cole
Sexual violence towards women and women’s virginity being forcibly taken is an old story that still makes me sick to my stomach. Which makes this example unique. (Maddie was also abused but that is a different conversation.) Flame has never experienced physical affection let alone sexual affection. And instead of turning his horrible past into someone else’s horrible past and letting the cycle perpetuate - he didn’t have sex. Ever. Until Maddie -when he was able to finally discover that sex wasn’t about power or violence but about kindness and affection when done right.
5. Nicholas Rokesby, Scandal Comes First by Julia Quinn
Correct me if I am wrong - this is JQ’s first virgin hero, right? Either way, Nicholas needed to be included. Because no one actually knows he is a virgin because - gasp - it isn’t anybody’s goddamn business. He has a tender moment with Georgiana when he explains that he didn’t really wait but he sort of did and then they have a lovely time discovering sex as equals. Which is awesome! A huge part of not enjoying the exploitation of virginity is that it can put a line of demarcation in a relationship of the One With the Knowledge and the One Without. Not allowing people to enjoy sex as equals regardless of previous experience.
Honorable Mentions
Jamie Fraser, Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
Hot redhead looking for his marriage of convenience? Look no further.
Winter Makepeace, Thief of Shadows, by Elizabeth Hoyt
Schoolteacher by day, vigilante by night, and no experience necessary for this hot hero.
Knight, Broken Knight, by L.J. Shen
On my TBR but I haven’t gotten here yet! But from many Bookstagram accounts, he deserved to be here.
Roscoe Winston, Dr Strange Beard, by Penny Reid
Hot vet with one woman on his mind - and a great beard.